The Life of Philip

I recently had to write a Christmas Holiday e-card for the company I work for. One of the stipulations of the design, was that I had to use the phrase Happy Holidays. I could not use Merry Christmas because we needed to be politically correct and not offend any customers. Our customer service staff ends their phone conversation with the same two words. While I can understand this stance for a corporation which is the face of many people, and not just one, the movement towards politically correct greetings in December is ridiculous.

When someone greets me, I would like them to say what is meaningful to them*. Alternatively, saying what is meaningful to me in a gesture of understanding and unity would be pleasant as well. However, using a generic term to cover all religious holidays so as to be all-inclusive is bland. I'm a Christian, so I celebrate Christmas. I will say "Merry Christmas" because it is what I believe in, it is what I am passionate about. I'm not saying, "This entire month is dedicated to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the Messiah, so believe and be saved... heathen!" I'm saying, "Merry Christmas, be happy, share in my excitement, enjoy the day off!"

I want people to speak what is true. Communicate, be honest. It would be fake and small to greet with a cop-out and compromise. I don't celebrate Hanukkah and Kwanzaa (and chances are neither do you) so why are you telling me to celebrate them both, plus Christmas, with Happy Holidays? I have no problem with people celebrating those other holidays, but I don't so I'll stick with the one I do: Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

I think baristas may just have the best service industry jobs in the world. Are there any other jobs better positioned to turn someone's day around for the better?

Perhaps it was the caffeine hitting my system from the chai I had purchased from the two friendly, upbeat baristas at Starbucks, but the cute girl at Allaan Brothers who helped me pick out tea to give as a white elephant gift exchange definitely seemed to be what made my night (not only did she offer suggestions with reasons, but also drew a festive Christmas tree on the bag for me.)

Think about it, who better is there than a barista to be able to brighten someone's day? The banter can be light, jovial, and cut off before any awkwardness arises between two strangers with nothing more apparently in common than a beverage. People like to be noticed, especially in places where there is not much reason to be. You go to a cafe to purchase a drink, meet someone else, or sit alone and read. The barista is there to facilitate the transaction. For them to take full notice of you causes those warm fuzzy  feelings of someone noticing and caring: it's really not in their job description (though I think some business realize the perks and search these personalities out).

As a waiter, your interaction is much more drawn out. The length of time someone is at a table you wait upon may allow the relationship to deepen, yet because of the continual mode of serving, it is difficult to do more than make repeated small-talk. Close repetitious instances of small-talk are difficult and awkward. A barista has the advantage of time elapsing between meetings and small-talk, allowing for it to be natural to ask "How are you?" upon each instance. Slowly, personal details will be revealed and a regular patron may find themselves in a natural friendship.

While a waiter also has more opportunities to add those "little touches" to create a great experience, the delicacy needed to not appear a suck-up is difficult to achieve. A barista has one chance, and doing it once per one small visit magnifies its significance.

Once a restaurant is slow, and a friendship is established, a waiter may have the advantage in deep conversation; however, I do not view that in the same light as a brightening a day. I may enjoy the friendship of a waiter after a friendship has formed, but it is the almost inconsequential few minutes with a barista that can really make me smile as I walk away - because of their friendliness and charm to a stranger who just wants his coffee.

It is this possibility that makes me want to take up a part-time job as a barista. To be the guy behind that someone always hopes is behind the counter because he brightens their morning as they gear up for another work day, or gives encouragement as final exams loom.

And couldn't it, therefore, be said that it is a very important job for Christians to hold? While we must take care of the widows and orphans, let us also put ourselves in a position to bring some love into people's day-to-day lives. My previous pastor made it a point to get to know the baristas' names at his local coffee shop; I would love to see the reverse position intentionally taken too - not for extra tips or job security, but simply to bless people - to show them kindness and love. Which, I believe, is what Christians are called to do.

I want to be a barista. They have the best job in the world: loving people.

A relationship, friendship or otherwise, is not a one way street. Any relationship that is uni-directional is bound to fail. To me, there are only three options to rectify these circumstances. You can fix it, you can call yourselves acquaintances, or you can let it go completely.

A true relationship cannot be forced. Both parties must relate to one another. One cannot make another relate to oneself. If the other party does not want to communicate and have a two-way relationship, you must decide if you will redefine the relationship, or leave it and walk away.

If you do not do this, you will be left drained and frustrated. Possibly even angry towards the other party who may indeed have good reasons for closing their end of the street. That will only exacerbate the situation. By redefining or releasing, I believe there may actually be a chance of reopening the other lane at a later time.

Today at church we sang a song by a Kiwi artist that always is a little emotional for me because I learned it in New Zealand while running sound for the church I attended. During the sermon the pastor pulled out a Anglican New Zealand prayer book and read few portions, including some Maori while talking about how a few things pertained to the culture. At the close of the service, the song we sang begin "From the ends of the Earth," which is what the New Zealand is called. Later, I met an Australian man who plays Ultimate frisbee (and has played for a team that I know of in Australia, and I may have played against. He knows people I know in the Ultimate community and mentioned wanting to move to New Zealand at some point.

Now then, am I being hyper-sensitive, or should I start believing in coincidences?

Recently, the friend I visited in Kampala asked me if I'd write something about my time with her for her newsletter she is sending back to friends and family. I thought it might be nice for you to be able to read it as well. Here it is with a couple modifications.